When I am talking with teens on the line, I am often amazed at how wise and level-headed they are, even in times of crisis. They don’t need someone to tell them what to do. They need someone who will help them decide what to do.

How does that saying go? You are the only expert on you? Callers have better insight into their own lives because they are each experiencing their own life from their own perspective. Therefore, it makes sense that our job as youth crisis counselors at CCY is not to give advice, but to help teens to see the solutions that are already at work inside them.

The counselors at CCY are trained to apply a non-judgmental attitude; to listen and empathize with the caller; and to “guide”, not advise, by repeating back the caller’s own words and helping her to explore the possible outcomes of her decision. This helps teens to fully think about the consequences of their chosen course, which is something they may not always do on their own.

It is this model that makes California Youth Crisis Line a unique space for youth to air any problems from smaller everyday issues to more serious concerns.

If we, as youth supporters, continually strive to be more open and patient in our communication and to trust that youth are capable of making their own positive choices, the youth will make good decisions, and they will think them through.

In this way, counseling becomes much more than advice-giving. It becomes EMPOWERMENT!

A privilege of being a California Youth Crisis Line counselor is getting to know someone pretty well in a half hour conversation. Often, someone will call with a common blanket problem such as “I’m gay and I don’t know how to come out” or “My girlfriend broke up with me and I don’t know what to do” or “I feel depressed,” but when I start to listen, they start to open up, and I see that there are so many layers to their problem, their lives, and their personality.

We don’t get to hear everyone’s feelings every day– even the people who we know best don’t always tell us everything they’re feeling. Sometimes we encounter a person and we think “oh that person is grumpy” or “that person is so perfect,” but we don’t know their story– what made them that way– or even if that’s just the way they seem to be at that particular moment.

People react to and cope with the events of their lives in ways that are completely unique and specific to their individual personalities. By hearing peoples’ hidden stories, we can get closer to understanding who they are. It’s a win-win situation. When the other person feels heard, he is free to be honest about the things he is feeling. Likewise, the listener (whether it be a counselor, a friend, or a family member) gets the benefit of learning that person’s hidden story– gaining insight and understanding into that person’s life.

The coolest thing about California Youth Crisis Line, as the Team Lead Counselor said to me the other day, is that we treat the people who call our line as people instead of problems. The line is totally confidential and we can’t trace callers, so they can feel free to open up as much as they are ready to and we do our best to help them sort out their feelings and connect them to resources if they need them.

We are not going to call the police if they are suicidal or being abused because we can’t track them. We don’t track them because we respect their ability to make their own decisions– we leave the choice up to them. We understand, or try to understand, that they are complex people who cannot be pegged down by a stereotype and we always keep in mind that the people who are calling the line are much more than the sum of their problems.

BE SOMEBODY who cares.

BE SOMEBODY who listens.

BE SOMEBODY who does not judge.

BE SOMEBODY who is real with others.

BE SOMEBODY

Then there are the calls that are just so heartbreaking. Those that don’t have a home to go to or are dependent on someone that abuses them and they have no where else to turn. Explaining that their situation isn’t permanent and they CAN change it, gives them maybe just a little hope for the moment and possibly lasting hope with a resource provided.

There are so many needs that surround each of our communities and the youth in them. How can you help be that moment of hope for someone?

Jen

From reading and reflecting upon this quote all I can say is WOW! This quote inspires me. I may only be seventeen years old, but I want to have, ” a heart full of grace. And a soul generated by love.” I want to reach out to youth not only in Riverside County where I live, but all around the state of California. I want to advocate for at risk youth. By at-risk, I mean kids who are victims of the streets; kids who are forced to be responsible for themselves when really there should be someone responsible for taking care of them. I want to let them know that there are people out in this world who do care for them and who do love them, even when the world around them shuts them out completely. I want to be known as the girl who brings a smile to their faces, the girl that believes in them even when they do not believe in themselves. I want to be the one person who sees the positive things about them, rather than the negative.

But, what does it mean to serve? Webster’s New World Dictionary defines the word ‘serve’ as, “to do services for; aid; help.”

Next, one might ask, “‘But what does it mean to aid, to help?!?”

I believe that to aid and to help means providing them with the necessary resources that will connect them with the programs that they need in order to survive.

I wish that there were more shelters where I live devoted to helping get youth off of the streets.

My hope is that one day not only in Riverside County, but also in the state of California, that there would be less and less youth on the streets. My dream is that youth would be able to confide in and find the necessary resources that they need to become healthy, confident, and successful.

Who’s with me?!?

–Talia

It was nice to see the faces of the Board of Directors for CCY, other volunteers, and the YOUTH that attended.  So many great faces to see and stories I heard.  Oh, and the art work displayed was so beautiful.  (It’s great to see such a creative way to express troubled times.)

Thanks for letting me be apart of the Conference and of the Crisis Line.  Much more to come…

Jennifer

So I’m new to blogging and new to the Crisis Line. I’m super excited and can’t believe how rewarding it has already been. Thinking I just might be a help to someone in a time of crisis is an understatement.

CCY really prepaired me for being a counselor on the phone and that immediately became apparent with my first call.

It’s encouraging to know that when you are able to listen and empathize with the caller, you’re doing more than you can imagine. Little does the caller know that they are doing something tremendous themselves. This sounds to be a very positive and hugely rewarding adventure.

Who’s with me?!?

Not only do the people taking these phone calls hear what others are going through, they also care. To me that is an important thing. While I have personally never called a crisis line before, I have been on the other end. I have been the one listening to a story about what a person is going through. It is sad to know that so many of California’s youth today are going through their own personal crisis, whether it be they are dealing with abuse, victims of rape, dealing with a drug or alcohol addiction, or having family problems.

In my opinion, the person taking the call and giving advice to a person on a crisis line is a hero. The attributes they display clearly are attributes that a hero has. People answering these phone calls are brave,  as they are willing to help a person help themselves. They are patient, as they listen to the story of the caller. They are dedicated, as they try everything under their power to help a person through what they are dealing with. Need I say more? Crisis line counselors are in fact heros!

If crisis lines were not around so many of today’s teens would commit suicide, run away, continue with their drug addiction and harm themselves.

Thank goodness for crisis lines!