I was particularly intrigued by some of these speakers because of their nontraditional paths and the advice they gave to community college students, who may also be taking the less-beaten path toward achievement and success. One piece of advice offered by one of the speakers was, “Be yourself.” The other speakers also echoed this sentiment and upheld the view that if you always follow your interests and be true to yourself, you will get to where you want to go.

Hearing people who had achieved their dreams say this gave me confidence that I too can do this, and I wanted to relay this piece of wisdom for you. As a youth who may have struggled with several different problems growing up, from living on the streets to coming out as a homosexual to suffering abuse at the hands of your caretakers, you may be wondering how you can succeed. With so many strikes against you, how can you pull yourself through it and give yourself hope?

The answer is a lot simpler than it seems, be yourself. Find your own unique voice and talents, and figure out how to use them, because you have them. Share your story. You don’t need to feel like your past is a problem. That you overcame it, or that you are overcoming it, is actually an inspiration to others. Sharing your pain can help others to feel less alone. Figure out how to make your pain work for you and for other people and find others who believe in you.

It may sound like I think this is easier than it actually is to do this. Bearing your wounds in public for everyone to see is terrifying. I am not even ready to do it. Being yourself, being authentic, is a struggle. You don’t want to seem like you are putting your burdens out there for sympathy. You want to show that it is possible to move past them.

This is what these speakers did for me. Some of them had been nontraditional students, who finished their Master’s degrees in their 50s. They went through struggles in raising families while finishing their education. They were not necessarily well-off, but they had the motivation to succeed and to find other people who were motivated to surround themselves with.  I realized that if they can do it, I can do it.

We can all be inspiring if we show we have the capacity to persevere, to overcome hardship. I believe that if you are honest with others and with yourself and committed to improving your life and serving others as it is in your capacity to do, that you will lead a magnificent life, despite any past mistakes.

Some things you need to sweep under the rug, you cannot say exactly how you feel.

Put on a smiling face because that’s what the world demands of you.

If you show real emotions, you may be looked down upon.

This makes it extra hard to bear the burden alone. The pressure to be smiling and happy, when you don’t feel it.

When in fact, you are feeling so low that you have thought about suicide.

No one knows because you can’t tell them.

You have to put on a “brave face.”

…

Well, you don’t really have to do it alone.

You are not alone.

You can find a counselor who wants to understand, who wants to figure out how to help you.

Someone to listen to your troubling thoughts,

So that you can sort them out.

If you are feeling like there’s no way out, do the hardest thing and

Reach out! You may be clinging onto your rope, dangling and afraid

But you will not get out of this situation by clinging to a rope that isn’t going to lead you anywhere. It will hold you there, or it will drop you.

A counselor can help bring you back down to where it’s safe

Make you feel like it’s okay, to face the world in your own way

You don’t have to do it alone

We’re in this together

When I am talking with teens on the line, I am often amazed at how wise and level-headed they are, even in times of crisis. They don’t need someone to tell them what to do. They need someone who will help them decide what to do.

How does that saying go? You are the only expert on you? Callers have better insight into their own lives because they are each experiencing their own life from their own perspective. Therefore, it makes sense that our job as youth crisis counselors at CCY is not to give advice, but to help teens to see the solutions that are already at work inside them.

The counselors at CCY are trained to apply a non-judgmental attitude; to listen and empathize with the caller; and to “guide”, not advise, by repeating back the caller’s own words and helping her to explore the possible outcomes of her decision. This helps teens to fully think about the consequences of their chosen course, which is something they may not always do on their own.

It is this model that makes California Youth Crisis Line a unique space for youth to air any problems from smaller everyday issues to more serious concerns.

If we, as youth supporters, continually strive to be more open and patient in our communication and to trust that youth are capable of making their own positive choices, the youth will make good decisions, and they will think them through.

In this way, counseling becomes much more than advice-giving. It becomes EMPOWERMENT!

A privilege of being a California Youth Crisis Line counselor is getting to know someone pretty well in a half hour conversation. Often, someone will call with a common blanket problem such as “I’m gay and I don’t know how to come out” or “My girlfriend broke up with me and I don’t know what to do” or “I feel depressed,” but when I start to listen, they start to open up, and I see that there are so many layers to their problem, their lives, and their personality.

We don’t get to hear everyone’s feelings every day– even the people who we know best don’t always tell us everything they’re feeling. Sometimes we encounter a person and we think “oh that person is grumpy” or “that person is so perfect,” but we don’t know their story– what made them that way– or even if that’s just the way they seem to be at that particular moment.

People react to and cope with the events of their lives in ways that are completely unique and specific to their individual personalities. By hearing peoples’ hidden stories, we can get closer to understanding who they are. It’s a win-win situation. When the other person feels heard, he is free to be honest about the things he is feeling. Likewise, the listener (whether it be a counselor, a friend, or a family member) gets the benefit of learning that person’s hidden story– gaining insight and understanding into that person’s life.

The coolest thing about California Youth Crisis Line, as the Team Lead Counselor said to me the other day, is that we treat the people who call our line as people instead of problems. The line is totally confidential and we can’t trace callers, so they can feel free to open up as much as they are ready to and we do our best to help them sort out their feelings and connect them to resources if they need them.

We are not going to call the police if they are suicidal or being abused because we can’t track them. We don’t track them because we respect their ability to make their own decisions– we leave the choice up to them. We understand, or try to understand, that they are complex people who cannot be pegged down by a stereotype and we always keep in mind that the people who are calling the line are much more than the sum of their problems.

Being judgmental is a part of human nature and it takes a lot of work to stop. Sometimes it is a natural reaction for us to like people who are similar to us and dislike or ignore people who we disagree with or who have different lifestyles or views than we have. In extreme circumstances, we may even make generalizations and create stereotypes about entire groups of people, which can spread widely, making our biases difficult to change.

Once we have an idea of who a person is, it can be difficult to alter our perception, even if that person has changed. Similarly, when we judge ourselves, it is difficult for us to change and grow because we believe ourselves to be the characteristics we attribute to ourselves and the things we do. Those things may describe how we seem now, but they are not who we are.

If we can learn to stop ourselves when we notice we are judging, we will open the door to positive change. People will feel more comfortable around us and we will become more comfortable with ourselves. We will no longer be categorized by ourselves and others as good or bad, but allowed to be who we are: regular, imperfect people who have our own unique sets of strengths and weaknesses.

Other than just connecting you to resources, the crisis line is the place you can call when you just need someone to talk to. When life gets really hectic and you don’t know what to do, when you’re in a shitty situation, the crisis line can actually be very helpful.

When you call the crisis line you talk to a counselor who actually listens to you, gives you positive advice, and offers resources that can help. When you’re done talking to the counselor you just feel so much better, like a burden has been lifted off your shoulders, and you realize that even though it’s hard, you can still handle it, and it will get better.

Then there are the calls that are just so heartbreaking. Those that don’t have a home to go to or are dependent on someone that abuses them and they have no where else to turn. Explaining that their situation isn’t permanent and they CAN change it, gives them maybe just a little hope for the moment and possibly lasting hope with a resource provided.

There are so many needs that surround each of our communities and the youth in them. How can you help be that moment of hope for someone?

Jen

So I’m new to blogging and new to the Crisis Line. I’m super excited and can’t believe how rewarding it has already been. Thinking I just might be a help to someone in a time of crisis is an understatement.

CCY really prepaired me for being a counselor on the phone and that immediately became apparent with my first call.

It’s encouraging to know that when you are able to listen and empathize with the caller, you’re doing more than you can imagine. Little does the caller know that they are doing something tremendous themselves. This sounds to be a very positive and hugely rewarding adventure.

Who’s with me?!?

Not only do the people taking these phone calls hear what others are going through, they also care. To me that is an important thing. While I have personally never called a crisis line before, I have been on the other end. I have been the one listening to a story about what a person is going through. It is sad to know that so many of California’s youth today are going through their own personal crisis, whether it be they are dealing with abuse, victims of rape, dealing with a drug or alcohol addiction, or having family problems.

In my opinion, the person taking the call and giving advice to a person on a crisis line is a hero. The attributes they display clearly are attributes that a hero has. People answering these phone calls are brave,  as they are willing to help a person help themselves. They are patient, as they listen to the story of the caller. They are dedicated, as they try everything under their power to help a person through what they are dealing with. Need I say more? Crisis line counselors are in fact heros!

If crisis lines were not around so many of today’s teens would commit suicide, run away, continue with their drug addiction and harm themselves.

Thank goodness for crisis lines!

That is why the Crisis line is so important because its the one place people like me can turn to when we feel like there is no one else we can go to.

Do you know how good it feels to know that someone is listening!!! Especially when you feel like the rest of the world is against you!!!

To me this is why the Crisis line is so important, because its that someone we can talk to when we feel like no one else will listen.

and you know whats kinda funny, even parents call the crisis line!! I know my mom has called it a bunch of times when she doesn’t know what to do with me or my sister. For my mom, it was the place she could call for a second opinion, a different perspective, kinda like a counselor.

If the crisis line were to no longer exist, then who would people turn to? Especially when we feel like their is no one else that we can talk too!!! Life is hard right now, the economy is bad, its really hard to find a job, a living is really expensive… it is times like these that we need the crisis line most!!!